Avoiding the Road of Second Guessing

Life is made up of decisions – some that impact the direction of your future, and some that impact only the next 5 seconds. For some reason, each of these seems equally consequential. Bike racing and riding seems to have a lot of these short and long term decisions. On one hand, I love the ability to meander on adventure rides with no pressure in the decisions I make about my route. I enjoy picking a route I have never done before and sticking to it, and in the process of doing so, learning the hard way which areas are hidden gems, and which I never want to come back to. Some days, I will just mix and match sections of road and trail I have ridden a lot, letting split second decisions guide my adventure on the day.

When it comes to racing though, decisions are hard. Deciding on a race calendar can sometimes feel like plotting your future. “How might I do at this race? Is it worth travelling to this one given the stacked field and the next race after it? Ooooh, I really don’t want to miss that one.” There are so many events, and seemingly so little time in each season. It is easy to second guess these decisions. 

Decisions for race day can be the most stressful. I will admit to second guessing almost every decision I make at many races. It is human nature to see what another person is doing and ponder your own choices. The amount of times I’ve pondered over whether I should run a Vittoria Mezcal or Barzo, or 20 psi in the rear or 21 is more than I would like to have to confess to. In the grand scheme of a race, each of these may seem inconsequential, but they all add up to being incredibly consequential. Why? Not because the decision about a tire may lose you the race in itselft, but because the stress connected with these decisions weighs down your mind. Every second you spend second guessing yourself is time you spend eating into your self confidence. Is 1 psi going to win or lose you the race? Probably not. Why would having your CO2 in your left pocket versus your right pocket really be that big a deal? Our mind blows small decisions out of proportion, and that can be what torpedoes our performance in a race, or simply makes the event less enjoyable.

For me, the start of the race is the time when my mind stops second guessing itself and focuses on the task at hand. Suddenly, that decision to wear arm warmers seems trivial, and heck if I could remember what pressure I put in my tires 5 hours into a 7 hour race. The more races I do, the better I get at avoiding second guessing myself. I have a dialed nutrition plan, the way I like to carry my tools set in stone, and confidence that these have worked for me in the past so will continue to work for me. 

This year, I faced many decisions. The biggest one, undoubtedly, was my choice to move away from UCI XC racing. In 2019, I almost made this same decision, but I second guessed myself. It was easy for me to think about the hypotheticals of making the wrong decision, and that mental pressure made me change my mind. This time, I am not second guessing myself. Two years removed from that decision has left me far more confident in knowing that my gut and my heart are guiding me the right way. 

Even recently, I faced the decision of whether to extend my season to marathon mountain bike nationals. Initially, I was hesitant. I felt like I was moving toward saying yes, but the voices in my head meant I kept having second thoughts. “Would this be too much racing late in the season? How will this effect next season.” With a bit of perspective, however, I quickly realized that my method of tepidly approaching the race with a lack of true belief in my choice was not the right one. There is one choice that is clearly worse than choosing to go or not to go: that is choosing to go physically but not fully mentally. 

If there is one thing I have learned in the last few years, it is to commit to your decision and trust it. Am I perfect at this? No. Often, though, commiting to that decision leads you down that amazing hidden path that committing to a new route on an adventure may take you. If nothing else, committing to your decision will help you unleash yourself from mental burdens. You know yourself best. There is no one better to trust than yourself and your own decisions. It takes practice for everyone, but it is a skill well worth practicing.

​

---